Tale of Nuotus: The Dark Heart Dev

Aug 3, 2024

#Fiction

Read time: 13 minutes

Based on a true story (somewhat).

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On the 16th Launch Day of Black Friday, Marketeus Digitalimus conquered Dom Kingdom to mark an end to the Semantic Wars. Traces of Sanity fruits and Nextojés pixels were found among the website remains built by the great Nuotus—God of Tailwinds, son of Brutus.

Nuotus, only lightly bruised after the battle, gathers the traces and casts the forbidden AI spell to yield before him the Dark Heart shield.

With his shield, the God of Tailwinds confronts and defeats Marketeus Digitalimus, regaining victory over the Kingdom of Dom.

a young heroic male wearing baggy trousers at a medieval battlefield, holding a large black heart-shaped shield, oil painting mural by Michelangelo — "Nuotsu and the Dark Heart Shield", oil painting by Caravaggio, circa 1500s

Two years pass.

On a November night, Nuotus notices near his Nespresso knook, a neon nymph nudging his knickerbockers.

a young heroic male wearing baggy trousers and a shirt with the text "Nuotsu", bowing next to a Nespresso machine, a glowing neon nymph angel beside him, Jojo style art by Araki Hirohiko — "Nuotsu's Bizarre Adventures" by Hirohiko Araki

'Twas a beautiful Stargazer angel holding up a 🖖 and uttering,

"May the [object Object]kit be with you."

"Bruh," yaps Nuotus.

Stargazer: "Ugh, not again... [object Object]kit"

N: "F*** it?"

S: "Yes! ... I mean, no! [object Object]kit!"

N: "SvelteKit?"

S: "Four eye, equals zero, eyeless then equals, too."

Nuotus, confused and contemplating the angel's curious riddle, points his finger to the sky and roars the forbidden spell Eureka-esque,

"SvelteKit, SvelteKit, SvelteKit!"

a young heroic male wearing an all-black suit with a white heart symbol on the chest, heroically pointing to the sky and screaming "SvelteKit!", lightning strikes and raining, in the style of Marvel graphic novels comics strip — "The Dark Heart Dev", a graphic novel by Stan Lee

A red-orange orange mysteriously appears in Nuotus' hand. He brings the fruit to his mouth and takes two mega bites out of the orange.

a young heroic male wearing black baggy trousers, biting a heart-shaped orange fruit with spiral patterns, tv screengrab from the anime One Piece, by Oda Eiichiro — Anime series "Index Zero Piece"

In a blink of a pixel, Nuotus merged Einstein's Theory of Relativity and his own Theory of Responsiveness to create a wayback machine, but accidentally sends himself back to a universe before the Semantic Wars.

Unable to debug the program, Nuotus decides to work on some side projects back home in Dom Kingdom.

Sheldon Cooper wearing a t-shirt of an orange fruit and chekered pajama pants, pointing to a whiteboard with the handwritten marker text "SanityPress" and "Responsiveness", screengrab from the 90s tv series Big Bang Theory — TV series "Big Int Theory"

On the 16th Launch Day of Black Friday, Marketeus Digitalimus—the Evil Tyrant of Gutenberg—conquers Dom Kingdom, leaving the city and its websites in ruins.

Nuotus notices red-orange orange peels scattered throughout the ruins, picking them up, only to realize he had brought the mysterious fruit with him in the wayback machine.

a young heroic samurai wearing a wrobe with heart patterns, picking orange fruit peels from the ground, a large furturistic time machine in the background, film still in the style of Akira Kurosawa — "Tale of Nuotsu", an Akira Kurosawa film

The mysterious red-orange fruit was none other than the Codi Codi no Mi that grants the user with CSS superpowers. Nuotus, pointing his finger to the sky, roars,

"It's like déjà vu all over again."

"SvelteKit, SvelteKit, SvelteKit!"

This time, a large 🖤-shaped shield appears before him. Marching towards the fortress of Digitalimus, he heroically yeets the Dark Heart shield at him, claiming final victory over the evil tyrant, once and for all.

"Good riddens, Gutenberg."

The end.

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ヌ乙物語 (Nuotsu Monogatari), Tale of Nuotsu

Marvel film "Avengers: Git Conflict"